What keeps us disconnected from ourselves are the imprints of trauma.
Gabor Maté
Gabor Maté has been hugely influential in bringing to light the connection between childhood trauma, chronic health issues and addiction. His therapeutic approach is a fantastic distillation of all the best bits of psychological and somatic therapies.
A common thread that I have found from doing CI with people is the healing of shame.
Shame is the belief that there’s something so wrong with you that if anybody else found out they would not want to have anything to do with you.
There’s nothing wrong with you.
Stuff happened in your life at a time when you couldn’t do anything about it. It was overwhelming. You came to believe you were alone in the world. You made a meaning out of that about yourself. You are still living as if this core belief is true.
You’re probably leaning on old habits, self-destructive behaviours and meeting the same situations over and over. It brings up feelings of frustration and hopelessness.
There is always a good reason for the things we do. It’s always about a younger part of us seeking love and belonging.
Through the Compassionate Inquiry process the child within gets to be seen, heard and appreciated. This brings a sense of safety. You finally get to say to the child you used to be “You’re going to be fine. We made it to adulthood, and I’ll take it from here”.
From here you can make healthy changes from an adult place.
Compassionate Inquiry was the missing link in my own personal growth. It enabled me to finally break free of self-sabotaging behaviours through fully understanding the emotions that I was avoiding and feeling them through.
